Birthday Gifts and Others
by Raven Aorla
Summary: If you're a good boy, maybe I'll buy you a lollipop." Since when has Holly Short broken a promise? Set after "The Eternity Code". Meant to be one-shot, continued to please insatiable reviewers. NOW COMPLETE
1. Birthday Gift

Artemis Fowl and Domovoi Butler are not mine, they belong to the excellent Mr. Eoin Colfer.

"Butler, will you come take a look at this?" Artemis Fowl motioned his employee over to the door.  
  
The Eurasian man looked around. "It looks like a perfectly ordinary morning, sir," he responded, not quite sure what he should be seeing.  
  
An irritable note came in to Artemis' voice. "I mean on the doormat."  
  
Lying on the velvet doormat with Fowl embroidered in gold, was a large piece of candy. More specifically, a lollipop. With decorative multicolored swirls.  
  
"Shall I pick it up, sir?" Butler asked.  
  
"Perhaps it's some sort of message," suggested Artemis.  
  
"It could be a weapon, as well." He picked it up in his huge hands, scrutinizing the sweet's surface. "It looks harmless, but you shouldn't eat it." There was a tiny note attached to the stick.  
  
"Do you take me for a fool? Let me see that." The fourteen-year-old mastermind read the note. "It says 'Happy Birthday'. How would someone know today was my birthday?"  
  
"Maybe you have a secret admirer."  
  
"Hardly," Artemis snorted. Then a strange look came into his eyes, and he massaged his temples with one hand. "I feel like I'm missing something."  
  
"What, sir?"  
  
"Only déjà vu, most likely. Something about lollipops... In any case, you know I don't like them." He handed it to the bodyguard. "Does it mean anything to you?"  
  
"Nothing whatsoever, Artemis. I believe your mother wishes to see you."  
  
"Oh, yes, Father insisted on a celebration, childish as that is. Dispose of it."  
  
"Yes, sir." He threw away the mysterious gift, and followed Artemis away from the door.  
  
What neither of them noticed was even tinier writing, underneath the message they had read. In near-microscopic print was written:  
  
"You've been a good boy."


	2. Fan Letter

"Birthday Gift" was supposed to be a one-shot, but I have added another chapter to oblige you enthusiastic readers of my first Artemis Fowl fic. Let it be established that I do not own Juliet Butler either.

"….eight, nine, ten! The Jade Princess WINS!"

"JADE PRINCESS! JADE PRINCESS! JADE PRINCESS!"

The Jade Princess waved at the screaming crowd. This was the first time she had been allowed to wrestle someone twice her weight, which brought the fun right back into body-slamming. What was the point if it only took you a minute?

As she headed to her dressing room, she realized she was tired. Her agent scurried after her. "Miss Butler, if I might take a moment to congratulate you…"

"Not now." And when a Butler spoke that way, people were bound to listen.

Waiting for her was a new pile of fan letters. A very big pile. She sighed and opened the first envelope. Letters were such a drag.

"Dear Juliet," it began. This was unusual. None of her fans used her real name.

"I'm glad you went with this, girl. Definitely a better career for you. You had too much heart for a bodyguard. You'll beat a troll yet.

"Sincerely, a friend."

There was nothing else, not even a return address. Juliet was puzzled, feeling as though she had heard something like this before. And what was this about beating a troll?

"Weird," she mumbled, then went off to take a shower, leaving the letter on the table.

What she failed to notice was the stamp, which depicted an old-fashioned Irish leprechaun…


	3. Honorary Medal

Butler sorted the mail as usual, to make sure nobody had sent anything harmful to his employer. It wasn't strictly necessary, now that Artemis had decided not to steal from individuals or non-profit organizations. But it was routine. Especially since his job had required less violence recently, and he had time to focus on his more domestic capacities.

For the first time in months he found an envelope addressed to himself as opposed to a member of the Fowl family. Unusual. It wasn't from Juliet, either. There was no return address, yet his carefully trained instincts felt no danger.

Upon opening, the envelope turned out to contain a heavy metal object and a handwritten note. Butler pulled out the thick disk, which was attached to a ribbon and appeared to be made of gold. Further testing proved that it indeed was gold. The only design was a raised image of a plain, golden acorn.

The note failed to shed much light upon the origins of this mysterious gift. This was what it said:

_Dear Butler,_

_I always thought it was a shame you never got the recognition you deserve for how you have worked above and beyond the expectations for a bodyguard. It's even worse that you don't realize it yourself. So here's a little something to let you know there are – let's say individuals – who appreciate your courage and loyalty._

_Sincerely,_

_Someone who owed life and repaid it_

Mysterious indeed. About as strange as the anonymous birthday gifts that Master Artemis continued to receive every year, though it was ridiculous to think there could be a connection. Then again, Butler knew full well that he had saved more than a few lives besides his young charge…could this be one of those people? But he could not think of anyone who had saved his life.

The Eurasian manservant stared at the medallion, turning it over and over in his hands. The acorn meant something, he knew, something he had forgotten, something that strayed in the periphery of his memory.

He shook his head. He really was getting old.


	4. Friendly Interrogation

_Sorry, readers! My invention ends here. Thank you for your encouragement and your darn pushiness that made me turn this one-shot into a multi-chapter, multi-faceted story. Hope you enjoy this final offering._

Foaly pounced on her the moment she entered the door of the control room. "Holly!"

"What?" asked the elf captain innocently.

"I would like to know why a certain female leprechaun has been making unauthorized landings both during recons and the Ritual, to deliver packages disguised to look like Mud Man snail-mail." The centaur loved human slang that he picked up from the movies. Movies by the People just weren't as much fun.

Holly Short fidgeted, trying to come up with an excuse. "I…eh…that is…wait, isn't your use of LEP technology to watch what I'm doing an invasion of privacy?"

Turning in his chair to continue whatever insanely complicated programming he was working on, Foaly said, "In a usual officer, yes, but I have been told, in light of recent events, to keep an eye on you."

Holly groaned. "Can't we save this for later? I need my equipment for the mission."

He was ruthless. "It's for the Mud Boy and his friends, isn't it?"

"It's a complicated issue," she dodged.

Suddenly Foaly swiveled back around with a gleeful smile on his face, his voice sinking to a confidential whisper. "I'm the only one who knows. Don't worry, it'll stay that way."

There was a sigh of relief. "Then why are you attacking me about it? I'm not going to trigger any memories. It's just to tie up a few loose ends. Yes, those three didn't stay my enemies. For humans, they had several positive qualities."

"Oh, you've missed my point. I agree."

"Then why…?"

"Do you think I could send something too?"

_The End._


End file.
